Fire Critic An Unadulterated View of the Fire Service
Maybe you have been reading that rag of a news blog called Statter911.com. Dave claims that not only am I not a firefighter, but that I don’t exist. I admit, it is quite humorous. Moreso, it is flattering that he will spend so much time increasing traffic on his site by running my name as much as possible. He has put together two very well edited yet fairly corny videos he taped when he passed through Roanoke on the way to FRI. You can see the videos here.
You just have to love the comments showing up on STATter911.com as well. Typical OBJ style Dave. Writing your own comments again are we?
Obviously, I cannot stand by idly and let him get away with this. I don’t get mad, I get even.
So here it is, a simple comparison of our parallel lives. You be the judge of who has it better, Dave or me. I think there is a clear winner here. No wonder why Dave is so hung up on me.
With Women
Dave wouldn't know a hot women if she was standing right next to him. Rhett can't keep women off of him. He embraces arm candy and usually has to give out a fake phone number just to keep them from calling him all the time.
Honor
- Dave asks what it was like for real firefighters after they have climbed in a 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb. Rhett participates in the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb’s and has Dave “the waterboy” Statter bring him water when he needs it.
Eating
Dave wears a bib. Rhett wears a bib as well, but eats crab three at a time...shell and all!
Firefighting
- Dave finally has proof that he has been in a fire engine. He is pictured here riding in the back seat as a fanboy of Willie’s. It reminds me of when parents bring their children by to sit in the fire trucks. Rhett drives a fire engine every day he goes to work.
Dress
- Dave dresses as Jerry Engle on his days off. Rhett can pull off the Hawaiian shirt better than Mike Legeros.
Travel
Dave hangs out with Bill "FireGeezer" Schumm and Mike "FossilMedic" Ward in his spare time. However, they bring along the troll to make Dave feel at home like the trolls on his site. Rhett hangs out at the Jersey Shore house with J-Woww.
With Willie Wines Jr.
Dave pays Willie to hang out with him. Rhett fights fire with Willie.
Friends
- Dave hangs out with trolls. Rhett hangs out with sharks. Neither of us have any real friends and are hated about equally wherever we go.
Mrs. Fire Critic
Rhett's beautiful wife can typically be found reading FireCritic.com and hanging out with Rhett.
Mrs. STATter911
Dave's beautiful wife can also be found reading FireCritic.com and hanging out with Rhett!
