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Dave Statter or Rhett Fleitz…You be the Judge

Maybe you have been reading that rag of a news blog called Dave claims that not only am I not a firefighter, but that I don’t exist. I admit, it is quite humorous. Moreso, it is flattering that he will spend so much time increasing traffic on his site by running my name as much as possible. He has put together two very well edited yet fairly corny videos he taped when he passed through Roanoke on the way to FRI. You can see the videos here.

You just have to love the comments showing up on as well. Typical OBJ style Dave. Writing your own comments again are we?

Obviously, I cannot stand by idly and let him get away with this. I don’t get mad, I get even.

So here it is, a simple comparison of our parallel lives. You be the judge of who has it better, Dave or me. I think there is a clear winner here. No wonder why Dave is so hung up on me.

With Women

Dave wouldn't know a hot women if she was standing right next to him. Rhett can't keep women off of him. He embraces arm candy and usually has to give out a fake phone number just to keep them from calling him all the time.


Dave asks what it was like for real firefighters after they have climbed in a 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb. Rhett participates in the 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb’s and has Dave “the waterboy” Statter bring him water when he needs it.


Dave wears a bib. Rhett wears a bib as well, but eats crab three at a and all!


Dave finally has proof that he has been in a fire engine. He is pictured here riding in the back seat as a fanboy of Willie’s. It reminds me of when parents bring their children by to sit in the fire trucks. Rhett drives a fire engine every day he goes to work.


Dave dresses as Jerry Engle on his days off. Rhett can pull off the Hawaiian shirt better than Mike Legeros.


Dave hangs out with Bill "FireGeezer" Schumm and Mike "FossilMedic" Ward in his spare time. However, they bring along the troll to make Dave feel at home like the trolls on his site. Rhett hangs out at the Jersey Shore house with J-Woww.

With Willie Wines Jr.

Dave pays Willie to hang out with him. Rhett fights fire with Willie.


Dave hangs out with trolls. Rhett hangs out with sharks. Neither of us have any real friends and are hated about equally wherever we go.

Mrs. Fire Critic

Rhett's beautiful wife can typically be found reading and hanging out with Rhett.

Mrs. STATter911 

Dave's beautiful wife can also be found reading and hanging out with Rhett!

Comments - Add Yours

  • Green Maltese

    You two have made me laugh allday reading both sides :) I love it!

    • firecritic

      Glad you are enjoying it!

  • Jon Tracy

    Fire Critic- 1, Statter 911- 0…..

    • firecritic

      That is the way I scored it as well!

  • Joe

    There is still fire news to report on these two blogs, right?

    • firecritic

      Of course. I am way behind!

  • Capt. Chaos

    The whole time I was thinking…. man…. Burn!…… then I get to Statters wife sitting in Rhett’s lap…… And thats what im calling the Excessive Leather Accessories for Fire Fighters Burn of the week! OUCH!

    -Capt. Chaos

  • HybridMedic

    So when do we start seeing random YouTube videos again?

    • firecritic

      Those take time…I might make one tomorrow as a follow up. I have a pretty good idea though!

  • Dave Statter

    Breaking news: Mrs. STATter911 has been arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

  • Hayden

    Rhett that was good. Good quality entertainment!

    • firecritic


  • Sharppointy1

    Well done, both of youse.

  • John Ross

    Some real bizarre shit coming from you Statter. you have lost all creditability. I guess your just a wannabe after all. but pretending to be a 14 year old? SICK !!

  • Amy Pickwick

    OMG…I cannot stop laughing. Rhett…you are a trip!

    • firecritic

      I try!

  • John Vollmer

    I have to go along with Statter on this one. I used to know a little man that clained to be a fireman, but since I retired and have messaged him several times he does not return any of the messages… So it must have been a nightmare I had about this little man being a so-called Firefighter down there is Roanoke area….

    • firecritic

      Ok, that one hurts! John, I don’t remember missing any emails. I hope you have the right one. My phone number is listed on my facebook page and calling me is the easiest way of getting a hold of me, next to texting.

      I can’t wait to grow up and be a firefighter!

  • Dave Statter

    He doesn’t return calls John because he doesn’t exist. Just a puppet with Willie Wines pulling the strings. Hope you are well John.


  • John Vollmer

    Dave, I have to agree cause I did not email him, I sent him a message on his Facebook page, which must just be smoke and mirrors!

    • firecritic

      just mirrors John…just mirrors

  • chiefbobr

    Couple of old farts with wives much better looking than either one of you deserve.

    • firecritic

      Best comment yet!

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