Statter and Wines in Cahoots! The Fire Critic has Cracked the Case

Here I am getting bombarded by all these enjoyable stories and jokes being lobbed my way by Dave Statter, Willie Wines Jr., Art Goodrich, and others.

You guys must have thought I was sleeping through all of this. No, I have been laughing my ass off. Very funny stuff. I have hesitated to answer any of these posts, but here it is…

Read or watch the latest in this saga (click below for links)

IronFiremen.comSTATter911 ChiefReasonArt

I have to admit, it has been an enjoyable ride. To think that these guys have so much fun just because I am 5’7″ tall. Hell, I have never had a problem with my height. They also enjoy the fact that I look young for my age. Again, something that has never really bothered me. So what If I get a reminder of how young I look every time I purchase alcohol.

Age and height, that is all they have on me. That isn’t too bad is it. Not bad at all.

Dave, Willie, and Art have formed some sort of group. Apparently the purpose of that group is to get me to blow. Dave forgets that I am a firefighter (he wouldn’t understand how we are thick skinned). Willie should know that it isn’t too easy to get me to lose it. Art…well I think he is just having some fun and jumping in.

You guys are gonna have to try much harder to get under my skin. However, let this be a warning… I have no shame.

Here is the truth I uncovered. It all makes sense now...

I can already imagine that at this point in reading, Dave is hoping that I don’t make this too disturbing. After all, he has a reputation to uphold. You know, pissing off all the two-hatters up in PG County, Maryland. I wonder if they hate the local news as much as they hate Dave for syndicating the stories?

Sad truth: Dave Statter wouldn’t be anything without Jerry Engle!

I have to retract one of my previous statements though. I have actually found out that Dave Statter actually was a firefighter. Well, maybe not exactly. I will let you be the judge. Apparently, when Dave was very young (about my age), Dave was actually posed with firefighting gear. His parents were so proud! When they left and Dave found out that he would have to leave his helmet and boots at the studio he went nuts.

You guys know who Willie Wines Jr. is? I didn’t think so. Anyways, he is the Captain from Roanoke who runs Yeah, I have created a monster! I knew I should have cut that umbilical cord a long time ago. Hell, the last time I saw him he didn’t even have any Evan Williams with him. What the hell good is he now. I really only liked him because of his cheap liquor, but now I got nothing to hang on to.

Wines is a hell of a firefighter! He has a ritual he likes doing after the fire is out. He strips down and does a dance in front of the news cameras. It is a sight to behold. Both of the fires he has been in have ended up the same way. Check out one fo the pics below by our local ABC affiliate!

As for Art Goodrich, he laid down a pretty funny story over at about the whole Statter/Fire Critic back and forth. You should read it here.

Art was recently featured in a local news article in Galva, Illinois. The word is that both of the people who live in Galva missed it. That is just too bad.